Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Should I Stay or Should I Go?????

I don't know what to do. I woke up feeling really conflicted about what I should be doing in my life. Where I should be. I feel like the wonderful job I started a year ago is so not great a year later, because of all the changes that have occured in the last six months. But this begs the question, where do I go from here? Do I go & find another job here now, or, should I go out to BC & find another job there? What, other than my parents, do I have holding me here?

Maybe I'm kidding myself, thinking that everything would just fall into place if I were to move out to BC. I am well aware of the fact that there will be a period of adjustment, which is just common sense for pete's sake. I feel as though I'm at a crossroads of my life, & I'm just not sure what to do. Nobody can tell me what to do but me, this I know.

The more I think about all of this, the more questions that come up in my mind. As close as I am to my parents, would I be able to live away from them, away from the safety net of their care & comfort? Do I stay here & be sad because I miss my friend, & be in the same rut that I've always found myself in, or, do I go to BC, & be sad & wistful & a bit home sick for awhile, while getting my bearings to my new surroundings & eventually come to love my new surroundings?

Lately I'm finding I have more questions than answers. This sucks.


EuroTrippen said...

Hmmm, that does sound like a tough decision. No matter which direction you decide to go, I'm sure you'll always look back and wonder. But life barrels on regardless. Sometimes you just have to hold your breath, close your eyes, and... jump.

Lisa said...

I think I'm going to jump....Eventually....lol