Why is it that friends will sometimes come & go in & out of your life as quickly as they came in? I find it so frustrating sometimes that certain people that come to mean a great deal to you in such a short amount of time, will just disappear one day & not be a part of your life anymore. I find that so sad; my frienships mean everything to me. Friendships are an important part of one's life. When you can't talk to your family, you can talk to friends who offer totally unbiased opinions & perspectives of things that you might be dealing with that you can't otherwise rationally discuss with your family.
This is the case with my family. I love my parents to death, they are my solid rock & foundation, without them, I would be & have nothing, but I have to say that my dad is one of the most stubborn men on the face of the planet! He & to a certain extent my mother can definitely not fight fair at times - do all parents do that? They mean well & try to be objective, but in the process, they end up driving you up the wall, & sometimes when in the process of arguing with them, it can get downright ugly which only ends up breaking my heart, because the last thing I want to do is fight ith them. But as I say, when they fight, they fight dirty, they'll think nothing of the "we're not going to live forever" card, which is so galling! They single handedly manage to veer totally off the subject you may be arguing about at the time & just zap you with something really out of left field.
Then there are your friends. For example, friends you make at work, that you somehow manage to bond with & think that you'll be friends with forever. You hang out from time to time & share many laughs at work. Then something happens & one leaves, then another. You all pledge to keep in touch & all that jazz & yet, even though at first you do, eventually, they just fade away & one day you wonder what's become of them. Why do they do that? Why are these the ones that seem to come & go out of your life? Maybe I'm the one that has to get out & really get a life, even though I thought I already had one.
Life is a funny thing, because I think, unless you're a hermit, you never stop meeting & making new friends, it's just that you would really like to hang on to the good ones that you make.
Showing posts with label Life in General. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life in General. Show all posts
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Up Early Again
I'm finding myself awake far too early again today, I've always been such a light sleeper; so I got up & got onto the computer, as is my usual morning ritual, thankfully I have the day off. I dont' know what I have to say today, though it seems like I have a lot on my mind. I'm currently listening to the beautiful k.d. lang's voice, singing Close Your Eyes. I actually don't mind getting up really early in the morning, during the spring/summer, because it's so beautiful at this time of the year. I particularly love seeing the sun rise.
k.d., I have to say, has really done a lot lately to help me get my mind off of my friend, whom I've been alternatingly curing & missing to death. It's been such a painful seven months, since I last saw her. The fallout from our parting ways has been completely horrible for me. I've been on the verge of turning to anti depressants to help me get over my terrible sadness, until I realized what the side effects were, & I realized that I just didn't want to go there. Instead, I've found other distractions to help me keep my mind off of her.
I've been attempting to read a book by the Dahli Lama, called The Art of Happiness, which I really do want to get into, but it's a slow process so far. I'm hoping I'll get more into it as I go along. Other distractions I've been finding lately is getting into watching a show called The L Word. Yes, it's about lesbians, but it's a really well acted, well done show. It's been costing me a small fortune buying all the box sets of the seasons; so far, I've got season 1 & 2. There are at least five seasons up to now, although I don't know if season five is out yet. And then there's Nip/Tuck, I've started buying that show too, although I may not try to get all of those shows right now. I also picked up a Best of the Larry Sanders Show yesterday. That show is one of those rare ones that were so good, but for some stupid reason, was cancelled way before it's time. I think cd's & dvd's, when I find something I really want, are my biggest indulgence; some women spend fortunes on shoes, my thing is cd's & dvd's!
Every day is still an on going process for me, but so far, at least for today, it feels like a lot less of a struggle as it has been in the last few months, although I think it's still early on in my "recovery". I've shed a lot less tears this last week, I'm actually hoping that I'm all cried out but I have no doubt I'm sure that I'll probably shed a few more tears yet over my friend, who refuses to communicate with me. I'm doing my best to respect her wishes, but man, it's so hard, not being able to talk to her whenever I want. That's the painful part that if I allow myself to wallow too much in that, it'll destroy me. I can't let that happen. As I keep telling myself, nobody is worth that amount of grief when they've broken your heart into a million pieces.
Having something to look forward to really helps as well. While I won't be travelling anywhere anytime soon (I WISH!!!), I will have k.d. lang's concert at Hamilton Place to look forward to. I've never seen her perform live before, but I am so excited at the prospect of seeing her. And then there's the rest of the summer which should hopefully be fun & possibly eventful. Crowded House is coming in early may, unfortunately, I won't be able to make it to that show this time around, my $$$ situation is still recovering from recent car repairs & my Australia trip. Such is life however.
k.d., I have to say, has really done a lot lately to help me get my mind off of my friend, whom I've been alternatingly curing & missing to death. It's been such a painful seven months, since I last saw her. The fallout from our parting ways has been completely horrible for me. I've been on the verge of turning to anti depressants to help me get over my terrible sadness, until I realized what the side effects were, & I realized that I just didn't want to go there. Instead, I've found other distractions to help me keep my mind off of her.
I've been attempting to read a book by the Dahli Lama, called The Art of Happiness, which I really do want to get into, but it's a slow process so far. I'm hoping I'll get more into it as I go along. Other distractions I've been finding lately is getting into watching a show called The L Word. Yes, it's about lesbians, but it's a really well acted, well done show. It's been costing me a small fortune buying all the box sets of the seasons; so far, I've got season 1 & 2. There are at least five seasons up to now, although I don't know if season five is out yet. And then there's Nip/Tuck, I've started buying that show too, although I may not try to get all of those shows right now. I also picked up a Best of the Larry Sanders Show yesterday. That show is one of those rare ones that were so good, but for some stupid reason, was cancelled way before it's time. I think cd's & dvd's, when I find something I really want, are my biggest indulgence; some women spend fortunes on shoes, my thing is cd's & dvd's!
Every day is still an on going process for me, but so far, at least for today, it feels like a lot less of a struggle as it has been in the last few months, although I think it's still early on in my "recovery". I've shed a lot less tears this last week, I'm actually hoping that I'm all cried out but I have no doubt I'm sure that I'll probably shed a few more tears yet over my friend, who refuses to communicate with me. I'm doing my best to respect her wishes, but man, it's so hard, not being able to talk to her whenever I want. That's the painful part that if I allow myself to wallow too much in that, it'll destroy me. I can't let that happen. As I keep telling myself, nobody is worth that amount of grief when they've broken your heart into a million pieces.
Having something to look forward to really helps as well. While I won't be travelling anywhere anytime soon (I WISH!!!), I will have k.d. lang's concert at Hamilton Place to look forward to. I've never seen her perform live before, but I am so excited at the prospect of seeing her. And then there's the rest of the summer which should hopefully be fun & possibly eventful. Crowded House is coming in early may, unfortunately, I won't be able to make it to that show this time around, my $$$ situation is still recovering from recent car repairs & my Australia trip. Such is life however.
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